It is not our work to say no to ourselves. What we need to do is explore options and do our best. We need to value ourselves and our work. And every time when we step up, we will get taken a bit more seriously. We evolve.
Feelings of being rushed, pushed, pressurised, trapped and/or defensive are the products of stored patterns of reactivity. The choice we make to rush - however many times a day - is stored within pattern recognition for triggers and many external influences can trigger these patterns leading us to feel rushed.
A deep desire to be happy often includes a need to be 'liked' by others. Unfortunately, not everything that makes us happy will please others and the expectations of others may be in conflict with what brings us joy. We can learn to notice and dissolve our unhelpful people pleasing patterns. Our need to please may include limiting beliefs about what we are allowed to feel, be or do.
Every so often in our lives we encounter people who resort to character assassination. In an unfair and dishonest way they deliberately attempt to destroy someone’s character, reputation, credibility and so forth. A major weapon that they use is unjust criticism and shaming of someone when they are not present.
Humans evolved to be afraid. Multiple systems in our brains continually scan for threats. We are vulnerable even to tiny subliminal threats - whether they are real or imagined. We can feel threatened by stimuli that we are not consciously aware of and the resulting fear may not be consciously experienced, although it may result in stress responses in our bodies.
When we have a fixed mindset, stressful social situations can make us feel so threatened and overwhelmed, that we may become unable to cope. The more we view ourselves and others as incapable of change and think about social battles as if they will last forever, the more likely we are to experience chronic emotional and physical stress from the challenges of daily life.
When our suffering is recognised - when we become aware of and embrace its presence - the pain, frustrations, discontentment and even anguish - it is this very step that is needed for reducing and eventually dissolving the suffering.